The Connecticut Road Trip Affair - "YCTTBOOTB"

This is a continuation of the Connecticut Road Trip Affair...Names have been left out for legal purposes and to protect the innocent:...As he stood on top of the roof, looking over the ledge, he watched his brother pull around the corner onto Kimberly Place; he knew it wouldn’t be long before he found his car parked in front of CM’s building and sure enough - he did. A minute later his brother screeched around the corner, right back to the stoop were he just saw my dad - he jumped out of his van and ran to the stoop to find, catch, and kill my dad but the kids sitting there said, "Kenny just ran down the hill towards 231st street. My dad watched his brother from the safety of the building roof but couldn’t hear what he was saying but based on his gestures and his facial expression it was obvious there was a bounty placed on this head. As my dad watched his brother pull away in his van he knew there was no going home - he had to wait until his brother’s anger subsided which might take one or two…decades. When my Uncle Richie pulled away in his van my dad knew it was safe to come down from the roof to join his friends again. By now, the story of my dad, CP, MK, HT, and DK’s road trip to meet his girlfriend in Connecticut had already spread throughout the neighborhood like wildfire and so no parent was willing to provide sanctuary for my dad. Luckily for the others sanctuary wasn’t necessary; the girl’s parents never found out about the trip to Connecticut and CP and MK, although they received a verbal scolding from their mothers they weren’t punished because “At least [they] didn’t steal a car like that hoodlum Kenny Hand.”On the other hand, my dad - my poor dad - had major problems; he didn’t have clothes to wear, money to eat, a shower, a bathroom, or a place to live and since it was getting late he needed to come up with a place to live - fast! Everyone sitting on the O’Connell’s stoop tried to come up with solutions; His girlfriend said, “What about Charlie Hauben’s house – won’t he let you stay there?” My dad said, “I’m not staying there after the ‘Charlie’s Hole Affair’!” Then HT asked, “Do you have any relatives?” My dad said, “Yes, but how could I going to explain them why I need to stay at their house. Plus, none of them live nearby.” Then it hit my dad and a smirk came on his face, “Hey, what about the O’Connell’s cellar?” Mr. and Mrs. O’Connell were the Supers of the building directly across the street from St. John’s Grammar School – they were both Irish immigrants who still spoke with a noticeable brogue. When my dad and his friends began hanging around Godwin Terrace they selected the “O’Connell’s Stoop” as the preferred hangout; on any given day or night after school you could find anywhere from five to thirty kids hanging out on he stoop, listening to COP’s blaring boom box music. Since the O’Connells were the Supers they had the unenviable job of chasing the kids off the stoop when they received complaints from the tenants. Early on the kids complained about being chased off the stoop and being told to turn off the radio by the O’Connells but once they got to know them the kids began to love and respect them. Mrs. O’Connell was like a second mother to the girls in the neighborhood and to my dad. She called my father “Her adopted son” and so maybe, just maybe, they could find it in their heart to let him live in one of the storage rooms in their apartment building basement?A storage room in the basement was not exactly a room at the Waldorf Astoria; it didn’t have carpeting, air conditioning, or a window; it did have cracked concrete floors and walls, sweating pipes and corroded wires running along the ceiling, cobwebs in every corner, cockroaches the size of small mice, and mice the size of small dogs. But there was one room – one room – which would be perfect to double as my dad’s bachelor pad - it was Amy O’Connell’s room. Amy and some of the other girls occasionally hung out in the room (especially in the winter months) and drank 'kins, smoked cigarettes, and listened to music. Amy and her sister Sandy were the daughters of the Mr. and Mrs. O’Connell. Amy attended school at St. John’s with my dad and they were good friends; Sandy lived most of her life in Ireland with relatives but she came back during her teenage years to live with her parents and Amy. Her room was furnished in the finest 1970’s clubhouse décor; it had a recliner, roll away bed, TV, fan, and a record player. If Mr. and Mrs. O’Connell were kind enough to allow him to stay in the basement maybe they would also let him use their shower in the morning. If they gave him the ok, he would be set; he’d have a shower, bathroom, a place to live and money – wait, where would he get money? You can’t live in a bachelor pad, aka “The Love Shack”, without the green stuff and so my dad came up with a scam to supplement his grocery store clerk income – “The Packaged Meat Scam”.The following “Packaged Meat Scam” never took place but if it did this is how it would have happened…thanks OJ...The “Packaged Meat Scam” took place while my dad worked as a cashier in one of the local grocery stores. In the 1970’s cashiers didn’t use these automated scanners they use now – no, cashiers were skilled individuals who picked up the product, read the price tag, key entered the department code, e.g., deli, meat, dairy, etc, and then entered the price of the item. Speed and accuracy were critical to move people through the long grocery store lines quickly. Accuracy was very important, however, since speed was important and it was a manual process - key entry errors were common. Because of key entry errors the shoppers (usually women) kept an eagle eye on the amount the cashier “rang up” to make sure they were not over charged. When a cashier inadvertently rang up an item for more than its actual price the customer very quickly pointed out the error, “Oh, excuse me young man - you overcharged me for that item. It says $1.09 and you charged me $1.19!” Yes, errors were sometimes made in the customer’s favor (saving them money), however, human nature being what it is; these errors were not pointed out with the same frequency and fervor. Knowing this human frailty, my father came up with a scam which used it to his advantage.How did this scam work (If it did actually happen)? To understand how the scam worked it’s important to understand customers purchased large, expensive cuts of meat from the “Meat Department” – sometimes these cuts of meat cost $20, $30, or $40. When a customer came into my dad’s line with groceries along with one of these expensive cuts of meat - the scam was about to begin. Now remember, people watched the prices they were charged with eagle eyes to make sure they were not overcharged – especially for the expensive cuts of meat! The scam began when my dad rang up the first item (ching, ching, cha-ching), then he pushed the item passed himself into the bagging area, then he grabbed the next item (ching, ching, cha-ching), and again, and again, and again – until he came to the expensive piece of meat. When he grabbed the expensive meat there was no ching, ching, cha-ching; he just pushed it passed himself into the bagging area – apparently forgetting to charge the woman for the expensive piece of meat. Out of the corner of my dad’s eyes he could see the woman look at the piece of meat, then at the cash register, then back at the piece of meat, and then back to the cash register. He could almost hear the woman’s mind, “Did he just forget to charge me for the meat? Am I about to save myself $30? Is he going to realize that he didn’t charge me? Should I tell him?” Without exception the woman NEVER pointed out the “mistake” even though the bill was $30 less than she knew it should be. After my dad rang up “all” the items he turned to the woman and said, “That will be $1.39” or some other amount which was significantly less than it should have been. She pulled out $2.00 and paid; my dad opened up the cash register and gave her $.61 in change. Now, at this point my dad heard her mind screaming, “Yes, I am going to save $30! I know I should say something but it’s not my fault he didn’t charge me for all my groceries! I bet I have been overcharged before and so now we are even! Plus if he realizes his error I can say I didn’t realize it.” Now for the final act of the scam – when my dad turned around to bag the groceries he started putting everything in the bag until he grabbed the expensive piece of meat. When he grabbed it, he held it up, looked at it, put a quizzical look on his face, and said to the woman, “I don’t remember charging you for anything that cost $30.” Invariably she said, “Really? I was wondering why it was so inexpensive.” Then my dad said, “That will be $30.” She handed him the money, he put it in his drawer (without ringing it up), she left without asking for a receipt because she was embarrassed, and my dad put the $30 in his pocket when he counted out his drawer at the end of his shift. As a reminder, this never took place but if it did this is how my dad would have made extra money when he was fifteen, living in a bachelor pad by himself. Now back to the Love Shack…I mean my dad's bachelor pad.He was able to be totally honest with Mrs. O’Connell and he told her the whole story about the trip to Connecticut, the accident, his brother, and the bounty on his head. Mrs. O’Connell immediately said, with her Irish brogue, “Oh, Kenny, Kenny, Kenny, I can’t believe my adopted son would do such a thing but I would do anything for you – of course you can stay with us!” This was the beginning of a strange phase in my father’s life – a fifteen year old boy living on his own. His first night on his own was sweet, it was a long tiring day but he ended it in style. He took his girlfriend to the Greek Diner on Broadway for dinner; they ordered a couple of greasy cheeseburgers, an order of large fries, and two cokes. When their food and drinks came out my dad raised his glass and said, “Here’s to great friends and to Mr. and Mrs. O’Connell.” She raised her glass and tapped my dad’s glass and said, “And here’s to hoping your brother never tracks you down because...he'll kill you!” After dinner he walked her home to DK’s apartment, said goodnight, and walked up the street to his new bachelor pad. On his way to his pad he stopped in the O’Connell’s apartment to thank them again for allowing him to live in their basement and to use their bathroom. Mrs. O’Connell let him in and my dad stayed up for about an hour talking to her about the day’s festivities; he then excused himself and went to his room. When he got to his room he unlocked the padlock, opened the door, walked in, and pulled the string to turn on the light. The only clothes he had to wear were on his back; he sat down on the bed, kicked off his shoes, pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the chair, reached up to turn off the light, and he laid down on the bed looking up at the ceiling. He decided to listen to a record to help him unwind and get to sleep; he leaned over and reached for the record player, turned it on low, and listened to his favorite Styx song as he slowly drifted off to sleep…♪Oh Mama, I’m in fear for my life from the long arm of the lawLaw man has put an end to my running and I’m so far from my home♪♪The jig is up, the news is outThey finally found me♪♪The renegade who had it madeRetrieved for a bounty♪♪Never more to go astrayThis’ll be the end today♪♪Of the wanted man…He woke up the next morning with the record still spinning, scraping back and forth on the center of the album.Two days later...His sister Patricia, who was attending St. John’s day camp, was very upset about her older brother not coming home. Apparently she heard the loud, angry conversations between her parents and her brother Richie about some terrible thing her brother Kenny did and how he wasn’t coming home. So the next day, after day camp ended, she went looking for her brother Kenny; her first stop was the O’Connell’s stoop where several of the girls were hanging out listening to music. When she walked up to them she began crying as she asked, “Have you seen my brother Kenny? If you have please tell him to come home! I miss him and I don’t want anything to happen to him!” The girls got up and one of them sat Patricia on her lap to comfort her. She continued on, “I made him this peanut butter and jelly sandwich for him to eat; I don’t want him to starve to death. Can you tell him, if he comes home, I promise never again to tell anyone about him making muscles as he looks at himself in the mirror! He’s the best brother a girl could ever have!” I’m really not sure if my Aunt Patricia really said ALL these things but I know she wanted my dad to come home.After comforting Aunt Patricia, the girls told her, “Wait here, we’ll be right back.” They walked into my dad’s Love Shack…I mean Bachelor Pad…and told my dad, “You need to come out and talk to your sister! She is outside crying because she is so worried about you! She’s so worried and loves you so much she even brought you a sandwich...she is so cute and we feel so sorry for her.” My dad was hesitant at first because he wasn’t sure what to say to her but he walked out and he saw her sitting on a window sill of a basement level apartment. He walked over to her, sat next to her, smiled, and said, “Hi Trish, how you doing?” She said, “Kenny won’t you come home? I miss you and I don’t want anything to happen to you!” My dad said to her, “Take it easy, take it easy. You don’t need to cry, I’m doing fine.” She asked him, “Why won’t you come home?” My dad said, “Well, I did something very bad. I stole Richie’s car and I took it to Connecticut with some friends of mine and to make it worse I tore up the left door of the car. Richie is very, very mad at me and I just want to wait until he’s no longer mad at me before I come home. I’m sure he’ll get over it and I’ll be able to come home soon.” “You can come home now, Richie won’t be mad, I promise!” she said. “Patricia, Patricia, Patricia, do you know how mad Richie gets when someone messes with his cars? You should have seen how mad he was when someone threw snowballs at his van – he was about to fight fifty guys on his own. Also, do you remember what happened to Karen when she keyed his car?” That's right...she's never been heard from since. Aunt Patricia said, “I’ll talk to him to make sure he doesn’t do anything to you – I promise he won’t hurt you!” My dad said, “I know, I know, but I want to give him a little more time before I come home. Don’t worry, I will be home soon and I’ll be fine.”My dad then said, “What do you have in the bag?” She reached for the bag and offered it to my dad and said, “I made you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because I know you don’t have any food to eat. Here you can have it - it’s for you.” My dad smiled, reached for the bag, opened it up, pulled out the sandwich, and took two bites and said, “Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, this is the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich I have ever eaten. Did you make it yourself?” She nodded her head “yes”. He continued on, “Can you do two things for me? Since you make the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches – can you keep bringing them to me every day? Also, can you go home and bring me some clean clothes?” She wiped the tears out of her eyes and said, “Yes, sniff, sniff, sure.” He then told her, “You better get home before...”To be continued…