The Roller Skating Affair - "YCTTBOOTB"

When my dad told me this story I told him, "I don't believe this story." He said to me, "Would I ever lie to you?" I said, "Yes, earlier today you said you didn't toot in the car - you lied to me because I know you did - I heard it and smelled it." He said, "Well, everything in this book is accurate to the best of my memory...by the way, what did you say..." Cameron James Richard Philip Hand This is a very rough draft - if you notice typo's or grammaro's (don't check the facts) please point them out...The Inwood Roller Hockey Affair The boys were sports fanatics and at this particular time of the year roller hockey was the sport of choice. They played roller hockey whenever they had free time; before school, after school, on weekends, and on holidays. Roller Hockey wasn’t popular with all the kids in the neighborhood mainly because it was an expensive game to play. Unlike basketball which requires one basketball, sneakers, and a court to play on - hockey requires each player to have roller skates, shin guards, hockey gloves, a helmet, a stick, a puck, a net - and two goalies with goalie equipment. Goalie equipment was so expensive that my dad and his friends had to improvise; goalie pads consisted of two thick pieces of foam cut from old mattresses, tied on by belts, for a chest protector a pillow was stuffed under a hockey jersey, there was one hockey glove for one hand, a baseball glove for the other, a goalie stick, and a football helmet with a facemask that a puck couldn’t fit through.Kingsbridge didn’t have a roller hockey rink for the kids to play on; the “rink” they used was the P.S. 7 schoolyard. P.S. 7 is a large schoolyard, without a lot of broken glass or loose gravel; unfortunately the “rink” had several flaws. First of all, there were many cracks in the concrete which caused the kids to trip and fall, secondly, there was a wrought iron fence running along the east side of the “rink” and if a slap shot or pass was off line the puck often slipped through the fence and rolled, and rolled, and rolled down Kingsbridge Avenue, and finally, since the school yard was so big you were constantly chasing the puck across the schoolyard far away from the playing area. My dad told me the worst part about playing in P.S. 7 was the cracks, “It wasn’t unusual to be skating down the rink with your stick in front of you pretending you were Guy LaFleur or Phil Esposito when - BAM!!! All of a sudden your stick got caught in a crack and UUUHHHH!!!! The butt of the stick stuck in your gut or worse – in the family jewels.” P.S. 7 wasn’t the best roller skating rink but it was the only one they had; in fact, it was the only one they knew of - until one day PJ told my dad and his friends about a roller hockey rink in Inwood. The way PJ described the rink it sounded like roller rink heaven. He told them, “It’s an actual roller hockey rink, with real nets, real sideboards, a smooth surface to skate on, and it’s free! It’s located in Inwood, near Dyckman Street along the Hudson River.” It sounded too good to be true but like the Joad family in “The Grapes of Wrath” traveling to California for a better life, the boys decided to pack up their hockey equipment to move to a better roller hockey life located in this far off land called Inwood.The easiest and safest way to get to the rink was by taking the 20 or the 9 Bus from 231st to Dyckman Street, skating west to Inwood Park, and finally, skating north to the rink. Yes, this would have been the easiest way but not the most exciting and so Kenny G came up with a short cut to get there. He said, “Instead of going the “long way” by riding on the city bus, let’s take a “short cut”. We’ll save some money and we’ll have some fun along the way.” The short cut Kenny was referring to took them to the rink via John F. Kennedy High School, past Columbia Rock, past the Spuyten Duyvil train station, across the Spuyten Duyvil Swing Bridge, along the MTA Railroad line for about a mile, until they reached the rink. Isn’t it amazing how the dumbest ideas can sound sensible to 12 year old boys – especially my dad and the boys he grew up with? They all looked at Kenny and said, “Yea sounds great, let’s do it!”They agreed to meet early on Saturday at P.S. 7 because they wanted to get to the rink before other teams took it over. When they met on Saturday at 7:30 a.m. they put on their roller skates, tied their sneakers together, put them over their shoulders, put their hockey gloves on, and picked up their sticks. Since it was late fall it was cold in the morning, they could see their breath when they said, “Hey, what’s up?” to each other when they met. To keep warm they all wore their long-johns, hooded sweatshirts, and their St. John’s Hawks jackets to keep them warm. When they were all together and ready to leave they roller skated south on Kingsbridge Avenue past St. John’s Middle School, made a right on 231st street, past Pat Mitchell’s on the right and the Library on the left, they turned left on Tibbett Avenue, past the Diner on the right, and they skated down the long road leading up to and around John F. Kennedy High School. At the time the JFK Astroturf football and baseball fields hadn’t been built yet and all there was behind the school was a very large empty lot with weeds and therefore they couldn’t skate anymore; however, instead of taking off their roller skates, like smart kids, they walked through the dirt and the mud in their skates until they reached the train tracks.Once they reached the tracks some of the boys walked on the railroad ties and some walked along next to the tracks on the gravel. A short distance from JFK, looking over the Spuyten Duyvil section of the Harlem River, is “Columbia Rock”. Columbia Rock is approximately 100 feet high. It’s called Columbia Rock because the Columbia University Rowing team painted a giant baby blue “C” on the side of the rock facing the river. The rock starts out low on one side and gradually increases in height until its pinnacle, which is only about five feet wide, and then it gradually slopes down on the other side. A thick wire went from one side to the other for people to hold onto when they walked over the rock – my dad isn’t sure why there is a wire going from one side to the other, he said, “Maybe it’s there for the people who paint the “C”. Columbia Rock has been used by the local teenagers in Kingsbridge for cliff diving for years, during the hot summer months. Jumping or, better yet, diving off of the highest points could make you a legend in the neighborhood and automatically enter you into the Kingsbridge Derelict Hall of Fame. Stories of Mike W diving off of “Devils Tower” into the river and surviving were passed down from generation to generation but there were also rarely talked about stories about older, unnamed teenagers, who dove off “Death Point” and “Widow Maker” who never came back up for air. There were certain parts of the water, near the rock, which was shallow; if you jumped off the rock in those areas you would certainly break your bones or worse when you entered the water. Also, if you didn’t jump away from the rock far enough you would hit other parts of the rock on the way down. When the boys approached Columbia Rock FJ said, “I’m going to walk over Columbia Rock.” My dad said, “What? Are you crazy? You can’t walk over it – you’re wearing roller skates.” Joey said, “I don’t care I’m going to do it.” My dad said to me, “If FJ said he was going to jump off a roof I wouldn’t have followed him but for some reason this sounded kind of cool and so all of us decided to do it”.The boys proceeded to climb up the eastern side of the rock; the first 30 feet up was simple because the rock is relatively wide at its lower points, but as they climbed higher and higher it became more difficult because it is narrows at its higher points. As they reached the higher levels, 40 feet, 50 feet, 60 feet, 70 feet, 80 feet, 90 feet, and eventually to the top it was nerve racking because when they looked down they saw, on the one side - cold, icy water far below, and on the other side - the cold, metal train tracks far below. 100 feet might not sound very high but if you are climbing over a slippery rock, with sneakers draped over your shoulders, carrying a hockey stick, with roller skates on – it sure does! A slip and fall one way and they could be “Sleeping with the fishes” and a fall the other way and they would be…let's just say - it wouldn't be pretty. Luckily, they made it over the rock without any serious incidents and now they could say they climbed over Columbia Rock with roller skates on – maybe this would qualify them to be added to the folklore of the neighborhood.After they got to the other side of Columbia Rock they walked past the Spuyten Duyvil Train Station where the people waiting for the train looked at this motley crew of a hockey team like they were nuts. Once they past the train station they were on to the next and most dangerous leg of their trip - crossing the Spuyten Duyvil Swing Bridge. The boys had never been to the bridge and so they didn’t know what to expect. The bridge crossed over the Harlem River, near the Hudson River; it looked to be about 200 yards long as it crossed over the rough waters. They had second thoughts about crossing over the bridge because it didn’t have a solid floor; yes it had heavy rails which were connected to wooden crossties but the wooden crossties were approximately one and a half feet apart. The crossties and the boy’s roller skates were the only things between the boys and the frigid waters below. MK said, “We’ve come this far, we can’t turn around now. Come on, let’s go!” The other guys seemed to agree with MK, or maybe they just didn’t want to be the only one to chicken out, and so they continued on their journey.They began walking across the bridge; they walked on the front bumpers of their skates one crosstie at a time. One important detail they didn’t consider was what to do if a train crossed over the bridge when they were on it. There was very little room on the bridge and there obviously wasn’t enough room on the bridge for a train and a hockey team. SR asked, “What are we going to do if a train goes by and we’re on the middle of the bridge?” CP said, “Either run like you’re being chased by the cops or hold on for dear life. If you can’t get off the bridge you better hold on because I bet it’ll shake like the El train station does.” It’s lucky they discussed their options because when the boys were halfway across the bridge – you know what happened.When they were halfway across the bridge they looked behind them and in the distance they saw a train coming toward them. When they saw it - they started running carefully on the bumpers of their skates, watching their steps to make sure they didn’t miss a railroad tie as they were frantically trying to get off the bridge. It was clear after a few steps that they didn’t have enough time to get off the bridge before the train passed them by and so they decided they had to lay down on the crossties and hold on with all their might. The train flew by and shook the bridge so hard it felt like an earth quake – it shook so hard FJ’s sneakers fell off his shoulders into the icy water below – he attempted to save them but as he reached for them he lost his balance and almost fell into the water. As soon as the train was past them the boys stood up and walked off the bridge and they were back on the last leg of their journey. The remainder of the trip was uneventful except for FJ mumbling, “My dad’s going to kill me for losing my sneakers!”
When they got to the rink it was everything they thought it would be; it looked like a professional hockey rink, surrounded on all sides with boards, it had new hockey nets, the concrete was smooth, and there wasn’t anyone skating on it yet. For about 30 minutes the boys had the rink to themselves and they took full advantage it; they skated backward and forward, they shot pucks into the nets, and practiced checking each other into the boards. My dad said, “Look, I can skate backwards without having to worry about tripping on a crack and breaking my back!” JF said, “Look, I can take a slap shot without having to run down 234th Street to chase it down!” A short time after they arrived, a lot of kids showed up and so the boys played several very rough games of hockey against kids from Inwood. These boys were good but they had never played against the types of players on my dad’s team. CP, JF, and SR were the stars of the team, they were fast, strong, and talented (when they were older they all starred on their respective high school hockey teams). FJ was the best goalie in the neighborhood, he had cat-like reflexes, he didn’t allow anyone in his crease, and it was virtually impossible to get a puck past him. The other players on the team weren’t as talented but they were tough, scrappy, and never gave up. Every game my dad’s team played – they won; he said they played for hours and didn’t stop playing until the middle of the afternoon when they could hardly walk because their feet were covered with blisters and blood.
It was 3:30 p.m. when the boys started their trek back home. The beginning of the trip was uneventful; they had a great time but they were too tired to talk about it. The only thing on their minds as they approached the Swing Bridge was how much their feet hurt and how cold they were. By the way, the reason it is called the Spuyten Duyvil Swing Bridge is because it swung open when boats entered or exited the Spuyten Duyvil section of the Harlem River and when the boys arrived at the bridge it was open. FJ said, “Oh crap, I’m cold, I’m starving, and my feet are killing me, and we’re going to be sitting here for hours waiting for this bridge to close!” CP said, “No, it’s only going to stay open for a few minutes. You see that boat near Bakers Field? That’s the Circle Line. Once it passes us and goes into the Hudson River the bridge will automatically close and we’ll be able to cross it.”
The Circle Line is a boat which takes hundreds of tourists around the island of Manhattan to see the incredible sights of New York City. The boat takes off from the 34th Street Dock on the Hudson River and goes south past the Statue of Liberty and the World Trade Center, it goes around the tip of Manhattan to the Harlem River, it passes the BMW Bridges (Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Williamsburg), past the United Nations, Yankee Stadium, all the way to the 225th Street Bridge, past Spuyten Duyvil, Columbia Rock, and through the Swing Bridge, and then back down the Hudson River. It was common practice for kids from the Bronx who were diving off of Columbia Rock or just hanging out near the river to give the tourists on the Circle Line additional sites to see when they past them by. Since the boys had nothing else to do while they waited for the bridge to close - JF said, “Hey guys – quick, come here before the boat goes by - I have an idea!” They all gathered around and listened to JF’s idea. It was hilarious and so all the guys said, “That’s great! Let’s do it!” Then they all got into position! The boys ran as quickly as they could (which wasn’t very fast with their blistered feet) to the edge of the river, as the boat past by the boys waived their arms and screamed, “Hey! Hey! Welcome to New York! Welcome to New York!” Near the bridge, the boat moved by slowly which gave the tourists and the captain of the boat a clear view of the boys. When the captain saw the young boys waiving at the boat he pulled on the boat's horn (toot, toot) as if to say, “Hello city people, great to see you!” There were several hundred tourists from all over the world on the two level Circle Line boat viewing the sites of the city, carrying their little cameras, and holding their children, who pulled out their cameras to take pictures of the native New Yorkers waiving to them from the shores of Manhattan. The men, woman, and children on the boat were smiling, waiving, while they were taking pictures of the boys and then JF yelled, “Guys let’s smile for the tourists!” All the boys turned around, bent over, and gave the tourists a view of New York that wasn’t on their agenda. Yes they did take a picture of the boy's smiling cheeks but it wasn’t the pink, rosy cheeks they expected - they saw the Eight Moons over the Bronx. I’d sure like to see the picture albums of some of the people on the boat that day to see if I can pick out my dad.
After the Circle Line passed by and the boys stopped laughing the swing bridge closed and they crossed over it without incident and their trek home continued. When they got to Columbia Rock MK, SR, JF, and OP were too tired to climb over the Rock again and so they walked along the MTA train tracks but FJ, GK, CP, and my dad decided they wanted to climb it again because – “it was there”. FJ was the first one to climb up the rock, then CP, next GK, and my dad was dragging his feet, far behind. When FJ was about a quarter of the way up the rock - his foot slipped, he lost his balance, and he fell off the Rock about twenty-five feet down into the cold, icy Harlem River. On his way down his body grazed a rock which jutted out from the rest of the Rock. When he fell in he didn’t come up from the water right away and so CP, who was right behind him, jumped in the water to help FJ. When FJ grazed the rock on his way into the water he actually hit his head and blood was gushing out. When CP got into the water he tried pulling FJ out but one of his roller skates was caught between some rocks under the water. FJ’s head was partially submerged, he couldn’t breath, and so the boys had to act fast. GK and my dad were the next ones in the water and as soon as they reached FJ and CP they dove under the water and saw FJ’s skate was caught between two rocks. GK worked quickly and within seconds FJ’s foot was out of his skate and he was headed out of the water. They all swam over to the river bank where they climbed out of the water; they all laid down on the ground - wet, cold, and exhausted.
The other boys who walked around the rock missed all the excitement and when they met up with the other boys Ronnie said, “What happened?” My dad said, “FJ fell in and we had to jump in to save him. Hey, we need some dry clothes - let us wear your dry coats.” CP, FJ, GK, and my dad took off their shirts and sweatshirts and they put on the OP, MK, SR, and JF's hooded sweatshirts. They wrapped one of their shirts around FJ’s head to stop the bleeding, JF and SR grabbed FJ and they all started back to the neighborhood. When they got home what would they tell their parents? They couldn’t tell their parents they were climbing over Columbia Rock – they’d be punished for a year. And FJ could never go home like this - his mother would beat him with a wooden spoon and he’d be grounded for a month. They decided to go back to MK’s apartment basement to dry all their clothes in the laundry room. There were already clothes in the two dryers and so they took them out and put in their wet ones. In about thirty minutes their clothes were dry enough to wear but now they had to come up with an explanation of the gash on his head – which wasn’t hard they just said he fell when he was playing hockey...
If you made it through this very long story I know what you're thinking if you're anything like me I can't believe this story is true. I beleive my dad and his friends went to Inwood to play hockey but I can't believe the part about FJ...